Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
