you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize