He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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