I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
