I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
