do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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