I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
