PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
