Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
