it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
