that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
