I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Screwed.edu
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize