Did you just see the Batmobile???
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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