Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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