you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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