I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
this boner is exhausting
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
