When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
