we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
