What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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