Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
