I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
