She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
