what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
