I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
