it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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