where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There r osticjed everywhere
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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