Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
