I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
