u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
