i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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