final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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