He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
