No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
