yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
