You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
