Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
FUCK WHALES
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We smell like vodka and hangover
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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