You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize