They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
