Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
