Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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