there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have peed in a lot of sinks
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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