just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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