Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
