And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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