I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
