He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
