you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
