did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize