If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
