I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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