she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
