look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
