So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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