She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
