yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
