I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
