Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
