So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
