arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
