And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
