My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
